YAY!
so i bought a macbook for $500 off Craigslist. i got it from an older pudgy white man and we did the exchange in the lobby of a hotel downtown - i can't tell you HOW many stank looks i got from men and women alike walking with him. i played along though just to get a feel (i'm an actress in that way) and DAMN. i don't think i could deal with the hate. i wonder if he was a younger attractive white guy if i'd still get those glares. and i wondered why I was the only one receiving them! Even from black men - no one side-eyed him! Ah well. That's all for another post. back to the computadora! i'm in love with it. Her name is Xiomara. I name all my favorite things. My car (soon to be with me in DC!!)'s name is Gisele (pronounced (Zshee-sell...bitches) - she's Brazilian. She's an Acura RSX '04 - thank god she's tiny cuz i can't parallel park to save my life. ;D THEN we have my lovely iphone 3G - Irulan. Yes, I first hear her name when I watched real world: las vegas with alton and trishelle and 'nem. And I fell in love with the name. Please know that I intend on naming my daughters these same names lmao. These items are just placeholders. Anddd I'm so serious.
Anyhoo - I've been wanting to start a vlog for awhile and now I am! I haven't talked about hair much on this site but those who know me know I'm a hair freak/product junkie - and there are LEGIONS of women on plenty of websites who feel the same (STOP JUDGING!!! lol) - I'm kind of a mini celebrity on some of these sites, mind you. AHEM. So here's the first installment of "The Nappy Hair Diaries" !! Subscribe, don't, whatevs. YAY!
I prob should angle the camera better next time...and i'm aware i have valley-girl-voice syndrome and tendencies lol. enjoyyy.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
give it up
i wish i had break-away work clothes. as soon as i get home i'm skrrrrippin...dyin to get out them jonts...into my glorious sweatpants lol.
so work is coming along...not very exciting and i'm fairly low on the totem pole...but i'm gonna thug through it and work my way up and out. prove myself to the bosses and all that ish. moving up and out of an admin position into more of a true analyst position will be a challenge - but all i can do is try. the only thing i really can't stand about work is this character:
THE HATER. My cubicle neighbor - so this dude is 27. engaged. he's had such a sour attitude towards me since i came aboard its ridiculous. he was hired to do analyst work at the entry level but had to fill in for my position while i waited for my clearance to go through - so understandably he was probably a little miffed and frustrated. but the snippity remarks? no can do. everytime i've voiced my opinion about anything discussed in the office, he has an offhand remark and a dismissive laugh to go along with it. everyday, he reminds me in some way, that i am an admin asst. as he shovels his former duties on me in loud and obnoxious ways.
"thank god i'm not doing that anymore" he jokes loudly with another cubicle-neighbor.
i try to ignore, but soon i am laser eye-ing him through the walls.
at this point, i'm getting a hang of things. i'm quick on my feet and i haven't messed up yet. i meet the bosses boss and VP tomorrow at a new employee meet and greet - hoping/knowing i'll make a great impression.
there were a couple of other meanies in the office when i first started but overall everyone is warming up to me - i'm befriending (office-wise) them one by one, staying positive and upbeat in the office even though sometimes i want to curl up and sleep lol.
oh, and everyone in my division is engaged or married. every last one. glad i missed the holiday party cuz i do NOT have a date to bring lol.
anywayssssssssss.... i'm going out tonight - to see raheem devaughn and this ethio chick sing down on u st. fbi bounces over there and i just KNOW i'll run into him. that'll be annoying, i'd really rather not. you know when you are bored/annoyed with someone they start to become less attractive too? yeah...thats happening.
THENNNN Saturday I'm going to see Nouveau Riche!!!! They are this awesome band with a lead singer I have an enormous crush on - I love her spirit, her smile, and she is just sexy. Watching her vids just puts me in a better mood - her name is Nikki Jean. Seeeee:
sigh...she's lovely. i love this song. and its the STORY OF MY LIFE.
The show is just $8!! I'm looking fwd to the diff crowd at this show, def not your typical bammas - more of an eclectic ensemble i'm hoping....
what are y'all doing this weekend?
so work is coming along...not very exciting and i'm fairly low on the totem pole...but i'm gonna thug through it and work my way up and out. prove myself to the bosses and all that ish. moving up and out of an admin position into more of a true analyst position will be a challenge - but all i can do is try. the only thing i really can't stand about work is this character:
THE HATER. My cubicle neighbor - so this dude is 27. engaged. he's had such a sour attitude towards me since i came aboard its ridiculous. he was hired to do analyst work at the entry level but had to fill in for my position while i waited for my clearance to go through - so understandably he was probably a little miffed and frustrated. but the snippity remarks? no can do. everytime i've voiced my opinion about anything discussed in the office, he has an offhand remark and a dismissive laugh to go along with it. everyday, he reminds me in some way, that i am an admin asst. as he shovels his former duties on me in loud and obnoxious ways.
"thank god i'm not doing that anymore" he jokes loudly with another cubicle-neighbor.
i try to ignore, but soon i am laser eye-ing him through the walls.
at this point, i'm getting a hang of things. i'm quick on my feet and i haven't messed up yet. i meet the bosses boss and VP tomorrow at a new employee meet and greet - hoping/knowing i'll make a great impression.
there were a couple of other meanies in the office when i first started but overall everyone is warming up to me - i'm befriending (office-wise) them one by one, staying positive and upbeat in the office even though sometimes i want to curl up and sleep lol.
oh, and everyone in my division is engaged or married. every last one. glad i missed the holiday party cuz i do NOT have a date to bring lol.
anywayssssssssss.... i'm going out tonight - to see raheem devaughn and this ethio chick sing down on u st. fbi bounces over there and i just KNOW i'll run into him. that'll be annoying, i'd really rather not. you know when you are bored/annoyed with someone they start to become less attractive too? yeah...thats happening.
THENNNN Saturday I'm going to see Nouveau Riche!!!! They are this awesome band with a lead singer I have an enormous crush on - I love her spirit, her smile, and she is just sexy. Watching her vids just puts me in a better mood - her name is Nikki Jean. Seeeee:
sigh...she's lovely. i love this song. and its the STORY OF MY LIFE.
The show is just $8!! I'm looking fwd to the diff crowd at this show, def not your typical bammas - more of an eclectic ensemble i'm hoping....
what are y'all doing this weekend?
Monday, January 26, 2009
laaaaa la la la
some one please tell me my new header ain't the shittttttttt!!
30 mins of my life - BOO YOWWWWW!!!
imageshack prob won't host it after an hour but whatevs.
...can't tell me NUTHIN!
in plain english:
i've found that arts and crafts and cooking relax me and are essential activities after a day of mindless work.
carry on...
Saturday, January 24, 2009
black boy lost
my brother texted me today.
i'm not staying at home i'm going to enlist in the marines. we can talk later if you want.
i laughed at first. then tears started to roll down my cheeks.
we were the closest siblings - we have countless stories from our childhood - we played and laughed and cried (when we got in trouble) together. i don't know when it all changed - probably when I became a teenager. Then I went away to school. I was so hell bent on finding myself (well, partying for the first two years) I completely neglected our relationship. From then it spiraled out of control.
A chance phone call:
hey, whats up?
nothin.
whatcha doing?
nothing.
whatcha gonna do this weekend?
nothin.
By the time I finally found myself and my purpose and what I needed to do and be focused on to achieve my goals during this point in my life he was just entering the chaotic phase. i'm 22. he'll be 20 next month. it blows my mind. i don't think we've grown apart. i don't even think we know enough about each other to grow in any direction. things just slowed down. stagnated. i felt too grown to talk to him about college stuff, and now he feels the same way. my mom instincts click on when i talk to him - i become most concerned about his safety. i can't help it. i have anxiety and panic attacks. i have recurring day-mares about him being hurt or dying. its fucked with me for years. his priority is fun.
we grew up in oakland until i was 14. surrounded by black people, and people who were classified as black anyway. then we moved to the suburbs. i never really fit in. he did. he thrived socially. he's always been like that - the laid back cool one. everyone is white, asian, or mexican. he dates white and mexican girls. i don't date anyone. not by choice. he struggles in school. i excel. im pushed to go to college and do the best i can. i graduate. i'm pushed to get a graduate degree. he's pushed to pass his classes. my mom probably wrote his application essays. he gets into a noname college. he flunks out. he texts me. i cry.
there is nothing i can say. its past the point of having a conversation. he doesn't listen. why should he? i haven't lived in his shoes. he doesn't have a mentor or an idol to look up to. yes i was raised in a loving two parent household. we were. yet i feel his alienation. he is my father reincarnated. and my uncles and my cousins. it is all the same story.
he doesn't think like you. like my black male college friends. the perspective is not reality. he wants to join the military because he doesn't want to live under my parents roof. period. because flunking out dented his self esteem. because likely, he wants to see himself excel at something.
i hate those commercials. it is not an adventure. you are not guaranteed a job afterwards. you are brainwashed. yes, there are benefits for some. if you survive.
yet and still. if he proves to me that he has done research, that he has a plan - I will support him. I will do the best that I can to support him and rebuild what we lost. what if it is too late?
i am frustrated, and saddened, and shocked. all i can do is ask God to protect him whatever he chooses.
what do you say to a black boy lost?
to be continued.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
a new day
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the big day finally arrived! though i live in dc i wasn't out there in the madness. i know. as i was watching it on tv i felt like a punk - ppl talkin bout we flew from zimbabwe n shit, but its all good. i bought this fly spray painted vinyl piece from a guy on u st this week - i love it! its facing my bed and its the first thing i see in the morning. i would've paid double for one with michelle's face on it, truth be told lol. i'll probably hang a newspaper clipping of her in my cubicle. i need to see that woman every single day.it will be wonderful waking up to that face, considering what he represents for the world and for me on a personal level. i already know that a glance at his face in the morning, during those rough first few minutes at 5:30 am will be all the inspiration and push that i need to get up and get going. my daily visual affirmation.
building my plan, finding my purpose...writing this chapter of my life...i can do it.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
youngback (noun)
youngback.
(noun.) a slang term used by black women in their 20s to describe an attractive older man. while he is noticeably older than she (generally by 7-15 years) he has a tight physique and can put it down or could probably do so given the opportunity - thus, he has a "young" back and fulfills the sexual connotation.
origin:
found an underground bar the other night with the girls - don't you LOVE that? we passed it by many a time because it just looked like one of thooose beer and 80s soft rock type joints but lo and behold it was a young black (and older - but cool older!) professional jumpoff spot. we were definitely the youngest in the place but since we know when and where to act a fool, we blended right in. we encountered a table of men who seemed to be in their 30s (one may have crossed the 40 line), and out of all four, we spotted one with a killer smile, attentive eyes, and a calm, laid back demeanor.
"how old do you think he is? 40?"
"nooooo"
"i mean he looks like a bangin late 30s or 40 year old man. his age wouldn't deter me."
"true. he's like husband material...like i wouldn't be mad if my husband looked like that at 40. he's hot"
"yeah, and he has a young back"
"a youngback!"
"ahahaha a youngback indeed!"
examples of youngbacks:
i actually chose this pic of idris because while he IS a certifiable youngback - we never want to see men his age dressing like this. i'm 22. if i want a graphic tee wearin, skater shoezin dude i'll get one from the mall. i prefer youngbacks in work attire at happy hours, or in age appropriate casual gear - there are exceptions to this rule but it IS a rule!
now boris, on the other hand... i could give a damn what he wears.
don't we all need youngbacks in our lives!?
(noun.) a slang term used by black women in their 20s to describe an attractive older man. while he is noticeably older than she (generally by 7-15 years) he has a tight physique and can put it down or could probably do so given the opportunity - thus, he has a "young" back and fulfills the sexual connotation.
origin:
found an underground bar the other night with the girls - don't you LOVE that? we passed it by many a time because it just looked like one of thooose beer and 80s soft rock type joints but lo and behold it was a young black (and older - but cool older!) professional jumpoff spot. we were definitely the youngest in the place but since we know when and where to act a fool, we blended right in. we encountered a table of men who seemed to be in their 30s (one may have crossed the 40 line), and out of all four, we spotted one with a killer smile, attentive eyes, and a calm, laid back demeanor.
"how old do you think he is? 40?"
"nooooo"
"i mean he looks like a bangin late 30s or 40 year old man. his age wouldn't deter me."
"true. he's like husband material...like i wouldn't be mad if my husband looked like that at 40. he's hot"
"yeah, and he has a young back"
"a youngback!"
"ahahaha a youngback indeed!"
examples of youngbacks:
i actually chose this pic of idris because while he IS a certifiable youngback - we never want to see men his age dressing like this. i'm 22. if i want a graphic tee wearin, skater shoezin dude i'll get one from the mall. i prefer youngbacks in work attire at happy hours, or in age appropriate casual gear - there are exceptions to this rule but it IS a rule!
now boris, on the other hand... i could give a damn what he wears.
don't we all need youngbacks in our lives!?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
all that glitters...
so. i can't sleep. but i'm tired as hell. so i'm going to rant...briefly...bullet style.
- everything in life (the tangible stuff...) is a game or a business
- i should embrace my solitude and find things i like to do on the weekends...besides drink and drunk text
- possibility of cutting off all boos indefinitely...needing me time
- i hate the metro. i'm claustrophobic and feel nauseated and faint at LEAST once a day on it.
- i did one workout session and that's it. UGH.
- the security guard at work is pre-op. i KNOW it. really friendly.
- lmao one of the guys at work is a huge (but hilarious) asshole - one of the grandma dressing coworkers came to my desk and asked if i needed any help or if i ever needed anything i could ask her ...except she kept repeating herself..rewording it. So at a point i'm like "oook. (still being polite obv) thanks!" and the dude comes over with his half eaten sandwich and is like hey you want a bite? you sure? if you even want a bite, my office is right here" LMAO. i had to turn around.
- my immediate supervisor and coworker suck. everyone else is cool/funny in their own way. still tough finding work-approp-and-interesting stuff to talk about for 8 hours. inevitably returns to football.
- boy's club in there.
- all the women save 2 are ADMIN. this disgusts me.
- see bullet #1. must play the game.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
ask me anything! seriously. + updates
well hello there. seriously slacking on my blog upkeep but seriously nothings been going on. i went home to recharge my battery before i officially start work on thursday. i got my closet all blazer/blouse/pant and color scheme coordinated!! its like the first day of school. oh and you are NOT ready for my patent aerosoles. NOT READY AT ALL. watch me pull em one by one, grandma shoes and all! non-coworkers at happy hour, of course.
i'm trying to add some meat on to these blog bones. so...what do you guys want to know about me!?!?!? i'm getting kinda bored with the blog...i'm becoming a serious lurker/blog reader instead of a writer. so...i know the ask me questions wave has come and gone among bloggers but you're here so you are obviously nosey since we probably don't know each other in real life........so ask away! need advice? just plain curious? i'm waitinggg
my vitals:
personal stuff:
i live in dc and i love it! recent college grad (omg how long can i say recent...as of may '08), 22, 162 lbs, 5'7'' and 5'8'' on a good day lol, used to be a beast of an athlete in high school, became a hasbeen though i have natural athletic abilities (for instance whooped on everyone at the staff/student tennis tournament after not playing for years), highly competitive...i always say i can be the life of the party or an introverted loner. i dig both roles...just depends. i LOVE to cook - if i can i try a new recipe every week. i love dogs and shopping. i love whiskey sours. i have a best friend - she's in boston. i have a kind heart, i'm very loyal and protective (and jealous lol).
the REALLY personal stuff: i'm perpetually single.
i'm very sensual. and picky. i am in a phase of picking up guys (i flirt, get their numbers...i can't remember the last time i was asked for my number. wow.), i'm excited about the new job mainly because i want to impress myself - i haven't done that in a long time. i have a few guys i talk to. ah hell why not lol:
(in no particular order):
omg. don't laugh. there are only three. lmao. but i'm always on the lookout for more recruits. lol.
k.
profboo. he's 29, getting his phd in miami. his mouth is featured in a picture a few posts down. yeah. lol. smart as hell with swagger like i've never seen. i seduced him first though. man i have to retell that story on this blog sometime lol. i've got game, what can i say? lol. we went through a lil rough patch but after his visit the other weekend we're good again. we talk or text like once a week-ish? not looking to turn it into anything serious but he definitely makes me feel some kinda way...
secretagentboo. haven't heard about him in a minute huh? i haven't seen him since november, and thats perfectly ok. he has a good heart - and he's 6'4 and cute...i just wish he was a lil more serious sometimes. since he told me he was 20 (when i approached him i SWORE he was at least 25) it alllll makes sense. lol. i hardly see him because he works all the time. but a good cuddle/cut buddy nonetheless. can a sista get a real date tho? jeezzzz. he actually did buy tickets and attempt to suprise me with a movie date although i was in california (i heard him ring my doorbell lol) - so points for that...but i'm not putting in effort anymore. again, i'm perfectly ok with it being casual so long as he knows the next time we hang out it'll be...out. at first at least. lol. oh who am i kidding i want the monsta! lol.
bloggerboo. ahaha! yes everyone, i have a bloggerboo. i guess he started following my old blog, facebooked me, and we chatted and video chatted and telephone chatted...and now i guess you could say we "talk" but in a friendly/casual/non-pressed/but-when-we-finally-meet-its-on-and-don't-you-forget-it kinda way. he's very kind and ambitious. and fineeeeeeeeee lol. he has quite the life story and part of me doesn't want to learn all of it over the internet. he'll have to move up north to civilization for that lol. and the best part is he READS THIS BLOG! lol. yeah. i used to feel uneasy about it but its whatever. he is well overdue for a visit. the clever ones can probably figure out who he is by process of elimination since i have like 3 dudes on my blogroll. go on, sherlocks!
trying to think of the common thread among these guys and i am at a loss. anyways... ask away!
i'm trying to add some meat on to these blog bones. so...what do you guys want to know about me!?!?!? i'm getting kinda bored with the blog...i'm becoming a serious lurker/blog reader instead of a writer. so...i know the ask me questions wave has come and gone among bloggers but you're here so you are obviously nosey since we probably don't know each other in real life........so ask away! need advice? just plain curious? i'm waitinggg
my vitals:
personal stuff:
i live in dc and i love it! recent college grad (omg how long can i say recent...as of may '08), 22, 162 lbs, 5'7'' and 5'8'' on a good day lol, used to be a beast of an athlete in high school, became a hasbeen though i have natural athletic abilities (for instance whooped on everyone at the staff/student tennis tournament after not playing for years), highly competitive...i always say i can be the life of the party or an introverted loner. i dig both roles...just depends. i LOVE to cook - if i can i try a new recipe every week. i love dogs and shopping. i love whiskey sours. i have a best friend - she's in boston. i have a kind heart, i'm very loyal and protective (and jealous lol).
the REALLY personal stuff: i'm perpetually single.
i'm very sensual. and picky. i am in a phase of picking up guys (i flirt, get their numbers...i can't remember the last time i was asked for my number. wow.), i'm excited about the new job mainly because i want to impress myself - i haven't done that in a long time. i have a few guys i talk to. ah hell why not lol:
(in no particular order):
omg. don't laugh. there are only three. lmao. but i'm always on the lookout for more recruits. lol.
k.
profboo. he's 29, getting his phd in miami. his mouth is featured in a picture a few posts down. yeah. lol. smart as hell with swagger like i've never seen. i seduced him first though. man i have to retell that story on this blog sometime lol. i've got game, what can i say? lol. we went through a lil rough patch but after his visit the other weekend we're good again. we talk or text like once a week-ish? not looking to turn it into anything serious but he definitely makes me feel some kinda way...
secretagentboo. haven't heard about him in a minute huh? i haven't seen him since november, and thats perfectly ok. he has a good heart - and he's 6'4 and cute...i just wish he was a lil more serious sometimes. since he told me he was 20 (when i approached him i SWORE he was at least 25) it alllll makes sense. lol. i hardly see him because he works all the time. but a good cuddle/cut buddy nonetheless. can a sista get a real date tho? jeezzzz. he actually did buy tickets and attempt to suprise me with a movie date although i was in california (i heard him ring my doorbell lol) - so points for that...but i'm not putting in effort anymore. again, i'm perfectly ok with it being casual so long as he knows the next time we hang out it'll be...out. at first at least. lol. oh who am i kidding i want the monsta! lol.
bloggerboo. ahaha! yes everyone, i have a bloggerboo. i guess he started following my old blog, facebooked me, and we chatted and video chatted and telephone chatted...and now i guess you could say we "talk" but in a friendly/casual/non-pressed/but-when-we-finally-meet-its-on-and-don't-you-forget-it kinda way. he's very kind and ambitious. and fineeeeeeeeee lol. he has quite the life story and part of me doesn't want to learn all of it over the internet. he'll have to move up north to civilization for that lol. and the best part is he READS THIS BLOG! lol. yeah. i used to feel uneasy about it but its whatever. he is well overdue for a visit. the clever ones can probably figure out who he is by process of elimination since i have like 3 dudes on my blogroll. go on, sherlocks!
trying to think of the common thread among these guys and i am at a loss. anyways... ask away!
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